Pieces of Leftover Happiness

One Piece of Leftover Happiness (Easter 1957 )- Two sisters and their dolls, pressed, dressed and ready for church ....notice the gloves and the patten leather shoes!

Glancing out the window I saw the fiery moon, hanging low in the sky. It was only 4am. There was still time to grab another hour of sleep. Snuggling deep into the quilt, I adjusted my pillow one more time and closed my eyes again. I remembered what my mother always told me when I would have bad dreams. Think happy thoughts, beautiful happy times and then, you will not have any bad dreams, she would say.
I grab a piece of happiness from my memories and drift back to sleep.
Moment by moment, day by day, we try to make our lives that perfect happiness. Isn’t that what we all want? A delightfully happy, “free from stress and sadness, turmoil and grief,” kind of life. Of course it isn’t completely possible, but we can dream and wish and hold onto those happy times to get us through the tough.
Fleeting pieces of happiness tucked away, until we need them again. When do we need them? Not that we don’t keep creating new ones, but when do we need the leftover pieces of happiness. Is it when we are saddened by life’s events, overwhelmed by what crisis we are dealing with at the time? And what pieces do we grab?
Recently, my mother passed away. It is such a huge loss, that feeling of not having a mother anymore. Missing her, each and every day, and missing my father and my grandmother and wishing, wishing so very much that I could turn back the hands of time.
This is when I reach for those pieces. The pieces of leftover happiness from years of time spent with people I love. I remember the songs my mother sang and I sing them to myself. I think of the clothes she sewed for me and picture them in my mind. I hold the conversations we had close in my mind and repeat the words. I retell the stories she told to my sons and share them again and again. I smile at the thoughts of chocolate chip cookies, of Easter baskets, and tooth fairies, of hour long phone conversations about nothing important. It doesn’t take me long to grab that leftover happiness. Just a small moment but it is a lucky charm. A gift that guides me through those tough times. Leftover happiness.