Am I Grownup Yet?

When are we really grownup? When we are young we can't wait until we are a teenager or until we can drive, or then vote, and that magic age of 21! Thirty seems old and then all of a sudden we are there. Would we ever be done with school? Married? Have children?
We are still our parents' children. Am I finally grownup now that my parents are gone?
I just don't feel like I am. It must be the teacher in me. Maybe working with children everyday is what makes me look at the world through a child's eyes. Maybe that is what makes me feel "not grownup".
I noticed what my sister had said in her birthday reflections on her blog last week.
She wondered when she started not liking her birthday. Maybe that is why I do like my birthday, because I don't feel as though it makes me older. I don't feel like it is getting me closer to being grownup.
I know there was a time, way back, when I was 13, then 16, then 18, then 21, that I did feel grownup. But I guess that was the last time.
I am pretty sure that I felt like a big girl here!

And I must have felt very grownup here too!


My high school prom, my wedding...
I am sure I must have felt grownup then too.


Then I am a mother of two little boys,



and those boys grew up.


All those years, I look back and wonder, who was the grownup person that sang to them, held their hands, bandaged their knees, encouraged them to be the best they could be. Was that really me?

That must be a qualifier for being grownup. Surely, I must be grownup.
Why do I just not feel like I am?