Cleaning out my parent's house this past summer, I came across a box of emails, filed in folders organized by family members' names. My mother had printed out all the emails she had received from family between 1995-1999. There was my folder, labeled neatly "Cheryl"; a treasure that only she would have thought about how valuable these communications might be for us in later years. One in particular caught my eye and this is it. I wrote this on February 25, 1999, when my son, John, was in highschool. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did rereading it!
February 25, 1999
I'm not at all sure how or when it began....but one thing I do know...it is hereditary in nature...an inherited trait which is passed down from mother to daughter, I believe. I never realized the problem until lately when it was brought to my attention by my younger son. I had stepped into his room, as I often do, to ask an unimportant question and hope for an answer of some sort...something not often predictable from teenage boys. Several seconds after the mumbled response, I was still standing there. That was when John made the profound observation. "Mom, why are you just standing there?"
As I continued to just stand there he made an even more profound statement.
"And Gram does it too, but it's not as annoying as when you do it?"
Horrified as I was at these accusations, they are quite true. I have obviously inherited this trait from my mother and she from hers as I do remember and have been told that my grandmother did her share of 'just standing there'. It was very subtle at first but as the years passed it became more obvious. No one ever labeled it then. Perhaps we thought she was thinking or forgetting what it was she wanted to say or do. I don't ever remember my mother doing it when I was growing up. She probably did but it just did not occur to me, being a girl, it must have seemed a normal thing. It was not until now that my son has pointed it out to me that I see it is something that has been in the female genes for a very long time.
"Just standing there" does have a purpose. I have never viewed it as a dreaded personality trait...but rather as a moment to gather strength for what comes next. It has clearly been misunderstood by those of the opposite sex who seem to view it as an annoyance, something done only to irritate. It is most annoying to teenage boys and so that is why it was so bluntly brought to my attention. I should be thankful that I am now aware of this problem. Although I am not sure that is is something that can be cured. Once you have the 'just standing there' trait it is not something that can be easily erased. I must note that men 'just stand there' at certain times too, however they do it with a blank look on their face or with the intent to tease or bug someone. This should not be confused with the inherited trait described here. If there are any family members, female or male, who have any insight in this matter, please feel free to add to my comments. Personally, I have decided to keep a log from this point on, as to the frequency, duration, and other specifics of 'just standing there' occurrences that happen to me. It won't be hard. I am sure that if I don't at first recognize the incident, it will be brought to my attention quickly. I would be interested in finding out if any of the rest of the family is afflicted with this trait and if so, what they are doing about it. On this note, I will leave you....
"just standing there" in PA.
Cheryl
No comments:
Post a Comment